I am so stinkin proud of you. You are beyond an amazing soul. You are a ray of sunshine that deserves all the love the universe has to offer. The universe is your ally and will always protect your soul. Don’t believe me? Take yourself outside this instant. Take a deep breathe, close your eyes tight, and let the wind dwindle from your head to your toes. Listen to the peaceful nature around you, and melt your body into the rhythm. Release all the aches and pains, and never forget the gracious, humble, joyous nature.
Forever be grateful. And sadly if you’ve forgotten, thank you for having the strength to step outside. And if you couldn’t step outside, thank you for reading and imagining.
I know you’re tired. I know you feel powerless, but don’t give up. The world is beyond precious. The storm always passes, and you will bloom like a beautiful flower. You always rise, even when you think you’re completely drowning.
Your abusers do not define you. You are your own wonderful human being, not someone’s property. Remember to guide with your heart and intuition. Always listen to yourself. You’re the only one that has your back 100%. However, it’s okay to allow trusted loved ones to help. You no longer have to travel this journey alone. Remember to remain patient. Remain humble. Remain heard. But most of all don’t lose yourself again. Don’t allow the pain to overtake your body. You’re strong. You’re brave. And you can overcome.
I wrote this letter to myself after I finally mustered up the courage to leave both of my abusers behind. My abusers physically and mentally destroyed my body for the first twenty five years of my life. I am a twenty eight now.
My physical abuser, my father, loved to use forceful and manipulative tactics to get the attention he so desperately craved. Overtime he slowly and painfully traumatized my soul. I am still recovering.
My emotional abuser, my mother, followed my father’s guidance and chose a life of silence. Her true evil desires came into play three years ago. I finally had the physical evidence that could potentially put my abuser behind bars. My naive self believed that my mother would support her daughter, and we would finally defeat my father together. However my two parents joined forces, and manipulated me to remain silent.
I lived in their cruel and comfortable world for two years. A year of it I lived in their home. Sadly I spent most of the year living in the corner of my room, questioning my existence. I couldn’t handle all the pain my parents put upon me. And then one day, I decided I had enough. I wanted to be heard. I no longer wanted to be silenced.
This sudden courage sparked a flame, and I lit up my whole world with resilience. I spoke the truth to those I love, even though most of them shattered my heart. Who knew the truth could be so cruel. Through the cruelty, I found my real father. Yes my real father. My abusive father adopted me when I was eight. Eventually I exposed my adoptive father for who he truly is, a child molester. My truth ultimately caused my abuser extreme pain, which cost me most of my family.
After I told the world my truth, I had the courage to then tell the police. The court process is long, overwhelming, and devastating. The Justice System is broken and overworked. Survivors don’t stand a chance, even with proof. I know I can’t change the world, but I will not remain silent. I will stand up not only for myself, but for those that are struggling to find their own voice.
It’s time to tell the world my story. I want others to realize they’re not alone. Every Sunday I will be posting a blog piece about the trauma that occurred in my life, and how I overcame it. I hope all of you join my healing journey!
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Remember you’re strong. You’re brave. You can overcome.