How to be Intimate Without Actually Having Sex

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When you hear intimacy, what’s the first thing you think of? Most people would say sex. But sex is just a part of intimacy.

Intimacy is the bond that is created between two people. It encompasses both physical and emotional connections. Sex might be one of the most physically intimate experiences but it isn’t the only one.

As a girl who has been sexually abused and has a hard time with sex, finding out that I can increase intimacy in more ways than just sex made me a teeny bit ecstatic on the inside.

I’m not saying that sex is not Important. It is. And I’m working on overcoming my challenges with it. However, gosh its nice to be able to strengthen my relationship in other ways every once in a while.

So how can we strengthen intimacy without sex?

Here are some nonsexual physical ways to build intimacy:

  1. Holding hands
  2. Walking with arms around each other
  3. A kiss on a very non-sexual place like the forehead
  4. Holding feet (yes, that’s a thing. Especially in bed if you are someone who likes to move a lot while you sleep…but still likes physical contact..  which is definitely not me…)
  5. A massage for the gift of comfort, not as foreplay.
  6. Playing with each other’s hair.
  7. Tracing letters down on each other’s backs

Basic idea, any kind of touching that is selfless, comforting, loving and not at all in any way a method to seduce someone. 

Here are some emotional nonsexual ways to build  intimacy:

  1. Date night.
  2. Pillow talk before falling asleep
  3. Checking in with your partner on a regular basis to see how they are doing with life
  4. Eye contact
  5. Cute notes and texts during the day
  6. Pointing out appreciation for each other
  7. Patiently helping a partner during a hard time
  8. Small acts of service or thoughtful gifts to show your partner that you care

So there you go. There are lots of non-sexual ways to build intimacy.

And guess what? The magical thing about building nonsexual intimacy is that the more care you put into it, the greater your sexual intimacy will become. 

Happy journey! 

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