To the Mother’s and Father’s Who Got Out: From a Child You Saved

I see your pain. 

I’m small, I’m young but I still see it. 

I saw how they treated you. I saw the way they yelled, the way they controlled, manipulated, used you.  I’m not blind to the deep gashes they carved into you. 

I also see the struggles now. The bills that pile up. The run down house we’re stuffed in.

I see the opportunities I don’t have because of finances, because of how our life worked out. 

But you know what? I don’t blame you at all. 

But I see that you do. 

I see the way you shake your head, the small visible sign that your mind is once again beating you up. 

I see the way you look at kids with family vacations, birthday parties, happy homes. I see how you gaze with a guilt that almost brings you to tears. 

I see the debilitating inadequacy you feel. 

You think you failed. You think you ruined me by marrying a monster. You think you ruined me by leaving. You think I hate my life because of the things I’ll never have. 

But mom. Dad. 

That is not at all how I see you. 

I see someone who risked everything, sacrificed everything to give me hope. 

I see the warrior who wakes up everyday to give me a life they wish they had. 

I see strength so unfathamable, so inspirtational that you somehow muster each second of our lives. 

You are my hero, in the truest form of the definition. 

I know our family isn’t “typical.” But because of you we are happy

You know what else? I don’t mind not having money. I don’t mind contributing to the family so that we can pay bills. 

I am honored. 

I am honored to be the one to help with money, to be the one to hold you as you cry at night. 

Because you saved me. 

And I will always love you for that.